planet weezy

we are not the same.

i have nothing figured out right now. no organization whatsoever to this madness that is being thrown around day after day. but i am happy. i have let the ugly feelings and images slip away with each day and i love the people that i surround myself with.
i cannot say that my feelings match hers. i can't say that at all. she looks at me in a way that is oddly familiar. i remember looking into eyes and lips 4 years ago and feeling that intensity that she is pouring into me. i do not want her to waste it on me.
i know that no matter how i twist this or how this may (and inevitably will come to an end) i will come out looking like the one that caused hurt, breaking, anger. she will be angry because without my consciousness looking after me, these days i mix the signals and twist the meanings and tell you lies to make both of us feel better.
as therapeutic as i thought it might be, we have traveled a bit too far down a dangerous road and i know that it will cause hurt.
dolor. olor. pain. smell. we always have words.